Responsibilities of Spouses (Husband) 05-05-2016

★ MY SERMON NOTES

Christian Couples Fellowship (CCF)

Lugbe Group, Abuja Zone

5th May, 2016

* Topic: Responsibilities of the Husband

* Leader: Barr. Panshak Haggai

 

1. The Husband as Father:

(a) Training (Proverbs 22:6; Deuteronomy 6:1-6)

- Training is a process of inculcating moral, spiritual, physical and economic (etc) values in children

- The difference between teaching and training is that teaching involves passing of information (whether learning occurs or not) while training is a sort of continuous discipleship whereby the character of a child is transformed

 

* For training to be effective: 

- It must be practical (children learn more from what they observe in their parent's lives)

- It must be consistent

- It must be done with a specific goal in mind

(b) Discipline (Proverbs 13:24; Ephesians 6:4)

* Discipline is a process of correcting a child when a wrong occurs

 

* Principles to note in Child Discipline:

- do not discipline a child to the point that he/she becomes provoked or discouraged

- ensure that you explain why you are disciplining the child

- discipline must be done in love

- always consider the age and temperament of a child in choosing an appropriate form of discipline

- a parent must not always over-react when children does wrong

- both parents must be one while disciplining their children. They must always be on the same side!

 

(c) Encourage & Exhort (Colossians 3:21)

- Children need to be constantly encouraged

- Parents must be wary of the words they use against their children especially when they fail in school or are not performing as good as their peers

- Your words should always be gracious towards your children

- When a parent is harsh, a child may be pushed to rebellion

2. The Husband as Head and Provider

(a) Hardwork (1 Timothy 5:8)

- It is the sole responsibility of the Husband to provide for the home

- A man must not be lazy

- When the husband's income or job is affected, the wife should support him if she is able

- A woman who becomes the breadwinner of the family  must not look down on her husband and she must not cause the children to disrespect him

(b) Pastor of the House (Deuteronomy 6:1-6; Job 1:1-5; Joshua 24:14-15)

- The husband is the Priest of his own home and he is expected to take the lead in spiritual matters  

- The spiritual wellbeing of the family is the husband's primary responsibility.

- He must always take the lead in family worship

- He must not abandon that duty to his wife, though she may support him  

- His goal should be to ensure that everyone in his house makes heaven

Be Merciful When Your Spouse Fails (Rev. Dinfa Lamda) 26-12-2015

★ MY SERMON NOTES

@ Church of Christ in Nations (COCIN)

Jiyep - Hwolshe;

Jos, Plateau State - Nigeria

26th December, 2015

WEDDINGS:

☆ GAMPAN & NANMAN HAGGAI

☆ MUSA & FLORENCE SAMBO

SERMON

* Speaker: Rev. Dinfa Lamda

* Topic: Be Merciful When Your Spouse Fails

* Text: Exodus 32:11-14

* God was angry with the Israelites and wanted to destroy them.

→ He wanted to break the covenant that existed between Him and the Israelites due to their unfaithfulness;

→ Moses interceded for them & God relented in his intention to destroy

* Remember that there may be failures on the part of your spouse as long as you live

⇒ Offenses are inevitable

→ Even best friends offend each other periodically

* Note: Israel was not the best nation on earth, but God decided to chose and love them

→ Similarly, out of all the men and women in the world, married couples have decided to choose each other - this is a good thing, regardless of what happens (good or bad)

* Sometimes, what you are expecting from your spouse is not what you will get, but you must continue to love him/her - because you have vowed before God to do so

* Many people do not understand the implication of Christian marriage which is meant to be permanent

* NOTE: Though Moses was a motal man, but God listened to him when he interceded for Israel

→ Some people are adamant when their spouse offends them and is seeking reconciliation

* As a believer, you must give allowance for the shortcomings of others who offend you

→ You must always forgive freely

* Refusal to forgive is a sign of spiritual immaturity

* Divorce should not even be an option in Christian marriage

* Don't listen to the voices of men when bad advices come

* Always weigh every advice in the light of God's Word

* As a child of God, the Scripture must be your standard

* Always remember that people around you are observing your conduct

* The only secret of success in marriage is to do all things as unto God and for His glory

* When you take the vow "for better for worse", NO EXCUSE will suffice as justification for breaking your sacred covenant with your spouse, taken in the presence of God and the Church

★ Revelation 2:10 →"Don’t be afraid of what you are going to suffer. Look! The devil is going to throw some of you into prison so that you may be tested. For ten days you will undergo suffering. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the victor’s crown of life."

* Your faithfulness to your marriage vows must be unconditional - even to the point of death

* There is a difference between patience and longsuffering!

→ longsuffering starts where patience is totally exhausted

* You cannot 'soften' God's Word to suit your circumstance when things are not going your way in marriage

* Remember your covenant and always try to fulfil them as long as you are alive

* As a Christian, your life must be governed by the Scriptures, not your emotions, societal expectations or your culture

* You must keep your marriage covenant even when it hurts you

→ Psalm 15:4

☆ Marriage is a choice: You must accept the good or bad consequences of your own choice for the rest of your life

* NOTE: Marriage would bring extra problems to you

→ A person who does not want extra problems in his life should not get married at all!

* Marriage is a test of your patience and your ability to withstand challenges in life

Relationships (Mrs Patricia Chollom) 26-04-2015

★ MY SERMON NOTES

@ Jesus Revelation Assembly (JRA)

Tudun Wada Ring-Road,

Jos - Plateau State

26th April, 2015

JRA WOMENS' CONVENTION 2015

Theme: Excelling Through Every Season of a Woman's Life 

☆ SUMMARY OF TEACHING

FOR SATURDAY 25th April, 2015

* Speaker: Mrs Patricia Chollom (Lecturer, University of Jos)

* Topic: Relationships

Mrs Patricia Chollom

* God wants you to excel in your relationships



* God has set a standard for us (for relationships) in Jesus Christ

* If you do not have a vertical relationship (with God) you cannot have a horizontal relationship (with people around you)

* If your relationship with God is not complete, you will always have frictions in relating with people around you

* Do not be like the Galatians. They accepted Christ by faith, but they want to work out their salvation by self-effort (Galatians 3:3)

☆ Ingredients for Achieving Successful Relationships:

1. Faith

★ Rom 1:17 → "For in the gospel God’s righteousness is being revealed from faith to faith, as it is written, “The righteous will live by faith.”



* Successful relationships Cannot be established and maintained by self effort. It is by faith

* Self effort has limitations, and it will ultimately fail

* By knowing that we are partakers of His divine nature (2 Peter 1:4)

2. Love

★ Ephesians 1:4 → "just as he chose us in the Messiah before the creation of the universe to be holy and blameless in his presence. In love."

→ The love being referred to here is Agape love (pure, unconditional love)

* God expects us to love unconditionally and to also love the unlovable

→ We love because we have received unconditional love (1 John 4:19)

* For a relationship to be sound, there must not be any iota of suspicion

* Your love should not be like the ones politicians display in Nigeria

→They join a political party and pledge their love and allegiance to that party, but when they Cannot realize their personal (selfish) ambitions, they decamp to another party

* God's love is constant and does not change

★ Galatians 5:6 →"for in union with the Messiah Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision matters. What matters is faith expressed through love."

→ Faith works (and its expressed) by love

* If the basis of your relationship not love, it will ultimately fail

* Do not love because you are expecting something

→ The moment you don't get what you are expecting, the love will die out naturally

* Always ask God for a dose of His love

* You cannot give what you don't have

→ If God does not fill your heart with love, you become incapable of showing genuine love to anyone

* 1 Corinthians 13 → Describes God's kind of love

* The greatest weapon on earth is love

→ Love is more effective than any known man-made weapon of destruction

* Trust God in faith and allow Him to fill Your heart with His love

* Pursue love as your highest goal (1 Corinthians 14:1)

* Try by faith, not by effort

* Husbands have a responsibility to love their wives

→ Follow Jesus' standard of love (Ephesians 5:25)

* Women: Love unconditionally, whether you are appreciated or not

☆ Counsel to Singles:

(a) Do not fall in and out of relationships (looking for love);

(b) Keep yourself pure;

(c) Remain lovable

☆ NOTE:

→ God made us for relationships

→ God wants to relate with us, and for us to relate with others

→ If you do not want to love, you must relocate to another planet!

Building Blocks for a Successful Marriage (Rev. James Stephens) 25-04-2015

★ MY SERMON NOTES

Wedding between:

Margret Nuhu Dashwep & Longji Sunday Gunat

@ Covenant Word Christian Centre International (CWCCI),

Plot 2389, Breweries Road,

Opposite Jos Steel Rolling Mill,

Old Airport Road,

Jos - Plateau State

25th April, 2015

SERMON

* Speaker: Rev. James Stephens

* Topic: Building Blocks for a Successful Marriage

Rev. James Stephens

→ Marriage is filled with ups and downs & it usually comes with plenty 'distractions' such as: making time for each other, additional responsibilities, kids, parenting, in-laws, etc.

* Young (single) people should take advantage of their period of singleness to serve God and develop themselves before getting married

* When you get married, you will discover that you do not have as much time as you used to have when you were single

* The Building Blocks for a Successful Marriage

1. Build your home on God's Word

→ Make God's Word The final authority in your home & life

→ You must anchor all your dreams, hopes, educational experiences, logic, personal preferences, beliefs etc. on God's Word

→ Everything must find expression through God's Word

* As a believer God's Word is your ultimate standard, not your educational training, cultural beliefs or societal expectations

→ Submit to one another

★ Ephesians 5:21 →"...and you will submit to one another out of reverence for the Messiah.

→ Be humble; put the interest of your spouse above your own

★ Philippians 2:3 →''Do not act out of selfish ambition or conceit, but with humility think of others as being better than yourselves."

* Whatever your cultural beliefs are, they must be subject to God's Word; if not so, there will be a clash of interests

→ Ensure that you deal with the issue of anger in your life

★ James 1:19 → "You must understand this, my dear brothers. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."

* The Word of God must always come first before (and take priority over and above) your feelings and temperament

→ Your feelings, opinions and temperament must be subject to God's Word

* A man that will not submit his heart to the Word of God will never submit to any man or woman!

★ Proverbs 4:7 →"Wisdom is of utmost importance, therefore get wisdom, and with all your effort work to acquire understanding."

* Make time to study God's Word and teach each other as a couple (before and after marriage)

* Regardless of the beautiful physical characteristics a person possesses, without God's Word a man or woman is empty and vulnerable to satanic manipulation

* God's Word is the ultimate restraint that keeps a man from sin

★ Psalm 119:9 →"How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word."

★ Josh 1:8 →"This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall have good success."

2. The Fear of the Lord

★ Proverbs 1:7 → "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; but the foolish despise wisdom and instruction."

→ You need the wisdom of God to navigate your path through life

→ The fear of the Lord is the restraint that keeps a man in check

→ It is impossible for a person to keep away from sin because of fear of his or her spouse. When such a person is away from his or her spouse and there is an opportunity to sin, without the fear of the Lord, such a person will succumb

☆ Advise to Single people:

→ Instead of looking for a spouse with beautiful physical characteristics, impressive educational achievements or sound financial standing, look for a person who fears the Lord

→ It is the fear of the Lord that keeps a person from abusing his or her spouse physically, emotionally or verbally

→ It takes the fear of the Lord to keep ungodly urges in check

3. Preserve the Original Vision

→ What vision do (did) you have?

→ You must have "seen" something for you to decide to marry your spouse.

→ Keep that vision alive!

★ Proverbs 29:18 →"Without prophetic vision, people abandon restraint, but those who obey the Law are happy."

→ The reason why many marriages are crumbling today is because they lost their original vision

→ If you have lost your original vision, there is second chance - for a second touch (See: Mark 8:22-25)

4. Keep it simple

→ Some people are too 'serious' (in their relationship with their spouse), that is why life is serious on them!

→ Simplicity will help your marriage

→ Your home should be a place of joy: the ambience should be welcoming

→ Lighten up your relationship and home with healthy jokes

→ Play with each other

→ Laugh together

→ Enjoy each others' company

* By all means, keep it simple

 

Interactive Session on Family Issues (Pastor 'Lola Owotumi) 18-11-2014

★ MY SERMON NOTES 

NDIC/DMO Chapel

Central Business District, Abuja 

18th November, 2014

* Speaker: Pastor 'Lola Owotumi

* Topic: Interactive Session on Family Issues

* Text: Psalm 33:6-11

* It is not possible to downplay the importance of family to the Church

* When the family is not strong, the Church cannot be Strong

* We must not allow anything to divide our families.

* Let wisdom be your watch word in making decisions in the family

* Wisdom can save your family from disgrace and breakup

★ Philippians 2:3 →  "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves."

* Do not pursue vain glory

★ Philippians 4:4-5 → "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near."

* Be careful to ensure that everything you do is done with moderation

* Do not borrow money in order to embark on any celebration. This will impoverish your family eventually 

* Do not enslave your family with debts

★ Question: Whose responsibility is it to finance family projects?

* There must be consensus and agreement among the couples

* Note: The two have become one (Genesis 2:24)

- Christian couples must see themselves as partners, not rivals 

* Final Caution: "Do not bite your nose to spite your face!"

Interaction on Family Matters (Pastor 'Lola Owotumi) 10-11-2014

★  MY SERMON NOTES 

NDIC/DMO Chapel

Central Business District, 

Garki - Abuja 

10th November, 2014  

* Leader: Pastor 'Lola Owotumi

* Topic: Interaction on Family Matters

* Your spouse should be your best friend

* When you entertain gossip in your marital relationship, trust will be eroded

* Watch who gives you advice 

- Watch the background of your advisers

* Note: The friends you keep always have a great influence in your life

★ 1 Kings 13:11-26

* When you keep your distance from the Church and other believers, you become susceptible to sin and evil

★ Revelation 3:20-22

* All that you need that pertains to life and godliness is contained in the Word of God (2 Peter 1:3)

* The best counsel you can get in any circumstance is found in the Bible, and through the counsel of committed believers

* Do not follow signs & wonders - it should be the other way round 

* Stick to the Word of God at all times. 

- It must be your standard and basis for taking decisions 

We are Partners, not Rivals (Rev. David Pofi) 15-08-2013

COUPLE’S FELLOWSHIP ANNUAL RETREAT

15^TH – 18^TH AUGUST, 2013

MIANGO REST HOME

DAY ONE: THURSDAY, 15^TH AUGUST, 2013

 

OPENING CHARGE

Topic: We are Partners, not Rivals

Speaker: Rev. David Pofi

Text: 1 Corinthians 3:1-9

 

An overview of the Opening Charges of the Christian Couples Fellowship Retreat from 2010:

2010 Opening Charge:

Things that only God can do:

1.    Unless the Lord builds your home, the builders build in vain. [Psalms 127:1]

2.    Unless the Lord watches over your home, you watch in vain

3.    Only the Lord can bless your children.

 

2011 Opening Charge:

Ø  Luke15:11-19

Ø  If you are disconnected from the Lord, you will never be full.

Ø  When a man/woman is disconnected from God (the Father), they become prodigal and cannot connect with each other appropriately.

Ø  When a family is disconnected from God, they beg when they are not supposed to beg.    

 

2012 Opening Charge:

*Ephesians 1:4, 7, 13 & 14

Ø  We were created by God for His pleasure, but sin separated us from Him.

Ø  God paid again for our sins in order to purchase us back to himself.

Ø  God bought (purchased) us for himself so that we might be set aside for His exclusive Holy use.

Ø  We have been sealed with the Holy Spirit.

Ø  You can only bear fruit according to your kind.

*Galatians 5:19 – 21 [works of the sinful nature]

Ø  When a man/woman is filled with God’s Holy Spirit, the fruits of the Holy Spirit will definitely manifest

 

2013 Opening Charge:

Ø  The Corinthian Church was a composition of everything. It had both good and bad traits.

*1 Corinthians 1:7 – The Church at Corinth did not lack any spiritual gift at all [see: 1 Corinthians12:7-11]

Ø  The Church was endowed and was very spiritual.

Ø  But the Church had other problems [see: 1 Corinthians 1:10 – 13 there was division in the Church; 1 Corinthians 5:1-8 there was incest and sexual immorality]

Ø  Carnality was the root of the division and immorality [1 Corinthians 3:1-4]

Ø  Note: The Church is made up of many families. There cannot be Church without families.

Ø  The reason why the Church at Corinth was the way it was, was because they were ‘mere men’ and they were worldly, carnal and spiritually immature (babies in the Lord)

Ø  Whenever you find division and quarrelling, there is only one reason for that: you are dealing with ‘spiritual babies

Ø  Spiritual babies are carnal, immature and cannot handle strong/solid food.

Ø  Babies cry for everything and make unrealistic demands; they give fault to other people; they hide things that don’t belong to them.

Ø  When spiritual babies are found in the family, there is bound to be fights, quarrelling and jealousy.

Ø  You must learn to see your partner as a partner, not as a rival whom you are competing against. You should walk, think and work together

Ø  Your relationship with the Lord will definitely reflect in the family. If you are growing in your relationship with the Lord, your relationship with your spouse will also grow

Ø  If you have a healthy relationship with the Lord, you will seek your partner’s happiness

Ø  You cannot be so spiritual and yet not live well at home – it is a contradiction

Ø  You must use God’s Word as a mirror to make all the necessary adjustments in your life

What is a Holy Marriage? (Rev. Silas Yako) 29-04-2000

★ MY SERMON NOTES

@ Church of Christ in Nigeria (COCIN)

(Now Church of Christ in Nations)

Hwolshe, Gigiring - Jos

29th April, 2000

☆☆Wedding Solemnization between:

Mr. Patrick Mancha & Theresa Mancha

SERMON

* Speaker: Rev. Silas Yako

* Topic: What is a Holy Marriage?

* Text: Ephesians 5:15-33

* A holy marriage is one entered with wisdom

* Wisdom is the adhesive element that preserves the marriage union

* A holy marriage is one that the husband and wife are filled with the spirit of God

* If we allow God's Spirit to fill us, there will be peace in the home

* The one who gets drunk is under the dictates and influence of alchohol

* Taking care of the family is very important; He who does not live up to this responsibility is worse than an infidel & has denied the faith

(1 Timothy 5:8)

* Problems arise in the home when couples do not obey God's Word and they allow themselves to be controlled by other strange spirits/influences (apart from God's Spirit)

* Grumbling, complaining and strife are signs of a 'Spirit of God- less' life

* Submit yourselves to one another; share ideas; help each other; humble yourselves; and tolerate each other

* Wives, obey your husbands - The husband is the head of the house

→ Husbands are God's servants (Priests)

→ The Bible emphasises this obedience

* Some women are wiser, richer and stronger than their husbands, but it does not hinder obedience & reverence

* Husbands must love their wives as Christ loves the Church . . . He who loves his wife loves himself . . . for this (reason) they left their parents to stick to each other

* Love can be demonstrated and also verbalized - this strengthens the bond of unity (among the couple)

* The way a wife comports herself reflects the husband's love for her

* A man who beats his wife is likened to a mad man

→ She is his body (only a mad man beats himself)

→ He is not fit to be called a 'man'

* A man must separate from his father and mother and stick to his wife

* There are many people who dislike a true union of love than those who like and support it

* Be careful as regards the kind of advice or counsel you receive about marriage

* Many men love their cars more than their wives and family

* Living holy lives is supreme

* You cannot deal with the issues of marriage with your bare hands - let bygone be bygone