★ MY SERMON NOTES
@ Family Worship Centre (FWC)
Wuye, Abuja
29th October, 2016
COUPLE'S RETREAT (2nd Session)
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| Rev. Eme Ejibe Picture credit: FWC Media |
☆ SERMON:
* Speaker: Rev. Eme Ejibe
* Topic: Are you Communicating with your Spouse?
* Text: Genesis 2:25 →"And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."
* Free flow of communication is the lubricant that makes the engine of marriage to function effectively
* Marriage is a lifelong project
→ It was not designed to be discarded when it is inconvenient
* Communication is the act or process of using words, signs etc to exchange ideas, thoughts and feelings
☆ Biblical Blessings of Good Communication in Marriage:
→ These are principles that stand the test of time
1. Edification (v.5)
→ Good communication builds up the marriage
→ A communication that does not build you up is not good for you
★ Colossians 4:6 →"Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." (KJV)
2. It produces mutual profitability (v.6)
→ After good communication, value & gain must be added to the listener
3. It provokes right actions and response (v.8)
→ Bad communication confuses those who listen
4. It precludes wastage of resources (v. 9)
→ lack of good communication gives room for unplanned expenses, lack of rest, bad health, etc.
5. It breaks walls of separation and by it, broken walls are built (v. 11)
→ When you do not communicate well, you become strangers with your spouse
→ Bad communication encourages the building of walls
☆ Sex as a Tool of Communication
* NOTE: Where there is bad communication, it gives Satan opportunity to wreck serious havoc
⇒ Sexual intimacy is a good form of communication
★ 1 Corinthians 6:16 → "You know that the person who unites himself with a prostitute becomes one body with her, don’t you? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” (ISV)
→ Satan understands this powerful tool and he uses it against many people
→ Anyone you have sex with has a strong grip over your life because a bond has been established
* Once you start engaging sexual relations with someone 'outside' marriage, it distorts your entire system
⇒ Sexual sin distorts your behavioural pattern
* NOTE: Where there is good communication, there is nothing that cannot be sorted out
* Wrong perception undermines good communication
☆ Factors that affect good Communication
1. Characteristic nature & identity of the thing
★ 1 Corinthians 14:10 → "Undoubtedly there are all sorts of languages in the world, yet none of them is without meaning." (NIV)
→ You should not allow the natural factor of your identity to determine your manner of communication
→ NOTE: Your identity as a child of God is not subject to the limitation of the flesh, of blood (genetic) or of culture
★ 2 Corinthians 5:17 → "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
★ John 1:2 → "He was with God in the beginning."
★ John 1:13 → "children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."
★ John 1:13 → "children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."
* The nature of God that you carry should affect your communication
→ When you are born of the Spirit, You are operating on a different (higher) realm
★ John 3:8 → "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."
* The nature of a thing affects its behaviour
* Question: Does your manner of communication reflect the fact that you have the nature of Christ?
★ 1 John 5:4 → "for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith."
★ John 3:10 → "You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things?"
→ In Christ, we have a life that is abundant in quality
2. The Pattern of Operation
→ Different sounds come from a musical instrument depending on how it is played
→ How do you determine your style of play?
→ You must derive your style of play (communication) from God's Word
* When you operate on the principles of the Word of God, success is guaranteed
☆ Sexual communication
→ When you operate on the principles of the Word of God, your sexual relationship is rendered as an act of benevolence towards your spouse
* God is the initiator of sex and His Word must guide us in this matter
* You must not place impediments on the path of your spouse when it comes to sex
→ Marital sex is a duty
→ You must not defraud your spouse of his/her entitlement
* When your pattern of play is in accordance with God's word, it removes tension
* NOTE:
→ Marital sex is a duty
→ The fact that sex is not convenient does not exclude the fact that it is a duty (your spouse's entitlement)
* Your (negative) attitude in your sex life can even block answers to your prayer
* The principle of mutual ownership:
→ You own your spouse' body and vice versa
* You have a responsibility to take care of your spouse
★1 Timothy 5:8 → "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." (KJV)
* When you deny sexual relations to your spouse, it is fraud! (v. 5)
3. When you play according to the word of God, it is sweet
★ Song of Songs 4:11 → "Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon."
☆ Things to note about Honey:
→ Honey does not flow like water
→ Tapping it requires intelligent approach
→ You do not embarrass the bee while fetching honey. You go gently!
4. The positional relationship with each other
→ Musical notes operate on a different wave length
→ The positional features of a guitar determines the sounds that are produced when played
* The position that couples occupy determines how they should relate to each other
* Unfortunately, the world tries to scuttle God's original plan with strange philosophies
★ Ephesians 5:22 → "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."
→ The head is not on top of a body as a weight
→ When the head becomes a weight, it simply means that the body is weak
→ The head is on top for the sake of positional and directional advantage
→ It is strange for the body to always agitate to become the head
* A head is only appreciated when it is properly aligned on the body
* A head severed from its body, no matter how beautiful it is becomes a monster
* The head is supposed to lead, coordinate and direct
* The head is responsible for anything that goes wrong in the body
* The body carries the head and aids its movement (support)
* Sickness is a sign that there is a failure of communication with a part of the body
* The head is the saviour of the body
* NOTE: When you understand positioning, it aids your communication
★ 1 Corinthians 14:20 →"Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men."
→ A child can be moved by anything
→ An adult is solid and mature and not easily influenced by anything
* NOTE: Effective communication in marriage requires a sense of maturity and understanding
